Drive Me Crazy
by AB24
Summary: Jack, Chloe, and a banana. Rated T for the banana part


"I'm just saying, darling, it hasn't been the best day so far, and it might really brighten it a little for me."

Chloe scowled, peeling of the first section of the banana in her hand. "Shut up, Morris."

"I'm merely making a suggestion, love, and I think you should consider it."

She stopped peeling and leaned forward across the table they were sitting at inside of the break room. "Morris, I am _not_," she lowered her voice into a whisper, "sticking this banana down my throat for you. I don't care how much it would 'brighten your day', I'm not doing it."

"And why not?"

"Because," she half-exclaimed, "we're at work, and somebody might walk in. Aren't the reasons kind of obvious? Or are you that horny?"

Morris paused, looking to the ceiling as he pondered his options. "I guess I'll have to go with the latter. Sorry, stress does this to me. You know that."

"Yeah," she muttered, "I do. But that's your problem, not mine, so if you don't mind, can I eat my lunch in peace?"

"Of course, darling," he smiled, rising and leaving a kiss on her forehead before turning to leave. "I'll see you on the floor."

"Yeah, fine," she replied, offering a begrudging smile. She listened as his footsteps faded away, rolling her eyes as she opened her mouth to take a bite, only to be stopped by an unexpected low voice coming from the doorway behind her.

"So you can really get that entire thing down?"

Eyes wide, she froze and nearly dropped the fruit on to the table as her heart started thumping immediately. She could feel her face redden as she hoped against hope she'd only imagined what she had just heard, and if she merely didn't move, he'd go away.

Instead of going away, Jack stepped inside, walking past her to the coffee machine. She kept her eyes to the table and set the banana down, looking up only when he had turned his back to her and started fiddling with the coffee maker. "I asked you a question."

"And I'm not answering it," she replied.

He turned and shot her a glance, his smirk unhidden. "Why not?"

"Because," she squealed, hearing her tone and immediately shutting up. "What is it with men today."

"What?"

She stood and tossed the fruit into a nearby trash can, answering, "First Morris, and now you. What is this, bring your stupidity to work day?"

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Chloe," he replied, handing her a cup of coffee. "It's just that if it's true, then-"

"Then what? Then you'll ask for proof?" she snapped, snatching the cup away.

He paused. "Maybe," he muttered before taking a sip.

Her mouth dropped open and quivered with anger as she tried desperately hard to think up some kind of comeback, falling short for once in her life. Instead, she whimpered and turned on her heel, storming away as the grin on his face grew.

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Despite her embarrassment, Chloe managed to put the incident out of her mind by the next morning. She walked mindlessly into CTU with Morris and found her station, logging on to her system and settling in her chair without noticing the item that was sitting on her desk.

"What's that?" Morris asked, hovering over her shoulder. "When did you have a chance to buy a coffee? We came straight here."

She looked up and saw the white lidded cup, her eyes narrowing as she replied "I didn't." She picked it up to find it cold, inspecting it but finding no telltale signs of origin. Curiously, she sipped on the straw that was placed inside, and suddenly she knew exactly who the culprit was.

Placing the cup down with a decisive thud, she rose from her desk and stared angrily at Jack's office as she stomped her way to it, ignoring Morris' puzzled calls after her. Eventually he shrugged and picked up the cup, taking a sip and obliviously muttering, "Ah, bananas and cream. Lovely," before heading off to enjoy the smoothie at his own station.

She could see that he was on the phone but she didn't care, bursting through the door as he turned around behind his desk and muttered that he'd call the person back. As soon as the phone was back on the cradle he asked innocently, "What's up?"

"What's up?!" she repeated, crossing her arms tightly against her chest. "Is this your idea of a joke, Jack? Well, let me tell you, it isn't funny."

"Chloe, what are you talking about?" he asked, playing stupid almost convincingly.

"You know what I'm talking about," she seethed. "Really, I'm surprised you were subtle enough to go with a smoothie. I would have expected an entire bunch of bananas. I mean, why not go all out, right?"

He looked down hiding a grin as he perched himself on the edge of his desk. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't," she rolled her eyes. "Jack, this has to stop."

"Fine, then make it stop," he replied with a twinkle in his eye. "When it stops is entirely up to you. And until then," he stood up from the desk and approached her, leaning towards her ear as he muttered, "I'm not going to stop. So get used to it."

Her heart thumping at his proximity, she looked up at him briefly before turning and sprinting away He watched her scamper down the staircase and smirking to himself, fully intending to make good on his promise.

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Several hours later Chloe was returning to her station from Tech 1 when she noticed Milo hovering over her desk. As she approached, he saw her coming from the corner of his eye and quickly scurried away to his own station. Brows furrowed, Chloe watched him as she settled back behind her desk, her attention quickly diverted to yet another "gift" waiting for her, this time propped up next to her keyboard.

She picked up the stuffed monkey and observed the similarly stuffed banana that it clutched, by now unsure of whether to be angry or amused at the situation. Falling somewhere in between, she took the monkey and stood before walking to Milo's station.

"Milo," she smiled pointedly as she held the toy up, "Did Jack ask you to put this on my desk?"

"Uh," Milo answered quietly, refusing to look away from his monitor, "I don't know what you're talking about, Chloe, I didn't-"

"Milo," she interrupted, sarcastic smile fading into a scowl, "trust me, you _really_ don't want to do this with me today. Now tell me the truth, or else the next time I just _happen_ to stumble across you and Nadia in an abandoned holding room, I won't keep my mouth shut about it. Got it?"

Milo paused and finally looked up at her, tersely muttering, "Fine. Jack asked me to do it. Okay?"

Grumbling, she tossed the monkey in his lap and stomped back to her station. This was officially ridiculous.

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Chloe was back at the scene of the crime for the first time since it happened, though this time with Nadia to ensure her protection. They sat together, chatting idly until Jack came walking in, when Chloe immediately fell silent. She brooded behind her non-threatening apple, refusing to even look his way until suddenly he appeared standing directly beside her and holding something in his hand. "Bread?"

Reluctantly she looked up and studied the slice in his hand. "What kind of bread?"

"The kind you bake in an oven," he replied, dropping it in her hand.

"So you're saying you baked this yourself?" she squinted, the idea unsettling somehow.

"That's what I'm saying," he replied, leaning against the table and taking a bite himself.

"Sure you did," she muttered.

"It's true," Nadia interjected. "I gave him the recipe."

"Let me guess," Chloe pointedly replied, "Banana bread, right?"

"...Right," Nadia answered after a pause, turning to Jack and eyeing him curiously as he grinned slightly.

"Nadia, can you give us a few minutes alone?" Jack asked quietly, before Chloe suddenly stood and handed the bread back to him.

"No, you know what?" Chloe snapped, "Don't give us a few minutes alone. And you," she said pointedly to Jack, "can take your stupid bread and just leave me alone. Okay?!"

Jack and Nadia watched in silence as the door slammed shut behind her, a few moments passing before Nadia turned to him and asked, "What did you do _this_ time?"

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_God, O'Brian, get a grip,_ she told herself later on, trying to focus on her work but helplessly distracted and increasingly frustrated by her mind replaying each one of Jack's tactics over and over, her mind's eye seeing that stupid grin he was wearing so much lately and seething at the memory. She knew it was stupid - the entire situation was stupid - but it was starting to eat at her, and she couldn't afford to be distracted like this. So she stood up from her station and kept her head bent low as she headed off the floor and down a corridor, feeling Morris' eyes on her as she disappeared from sight.

Once a safe distance away from the crowd, she turned an empty corner and leaned her back against the cold, hard wall with a soft thud. She crossed one arm against her chest and lowered her forehead into her her other hand, sighing heavily and enjoying her refuge from the noise until she heard a voice echoing from a short distance away.

"Chloe?"

She looked up and immediately looked away, muttering, "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"What's the matter?" Jack asked, ignoring her words as he approached her.

"Nothing, I'm fine," she replied, turning to leave but stopped by his hand softly gripping her arm.

"People don't run down corridors and hide because they're fine," he replied, letting go when she flinched at his touch. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Fine," she said, looking up with anger in her eyes, "you want to know what's wrong? It's you, Jack. You're what's wrong."

He stared at her cluelessly, answering, "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't," she rolled her eyes. "This...this _thing_ is really bothering me, Jack - _you're_ really bothering me because you won't leave it alone and I keep waiting for you to do something else. I mean, bringing Milo into it? I don't know what you're trying to do here, but for God's sake, can you leave my friends out of it?"

He fell silent, looking away and shifting awkwardly before finally muttering, "I'm sorry, I...I didn't know it was bothering you like that. I didn't mean any harm, I just..."

"Just what?" she pressed. "What _are_ you trying to do? I mean, you left a monkey on my desk, Jack. A _monkey_." She paused when a small smile crossed his face, adding quietly, "I just don't get it."

"I was hoping you'd get the hint," he replied, watching confusion display again on her face.

"What hint?" she asked, furrowing her brows as she searched his eyes for an answer. He held her gaze but said nothing, simply taking her in as her stomach started twisting into knots more tightly with each passing silence-tipped second, hitting its peak when his eyes fell from her face and started moving down. Her ears started ringing and he seemed to be coming closer, all of it feeling surreal until footsteps and a familiar accent interrupted the moment.

"There you are, I looked all over for you," Morris sighed upon finding her, watching as Chloe nearly jumped at his voice and Jack cast his eyes to the floor and took several steps back. "What's going on?" he asked, eyes narrowing on the curious sight.

"Nothing," Chloe muttered, giving Jack a last half-glance before passing them both as she headed back to the floor. Morris watched her leave and then turned to Jack, staring at him with unhidden confusion. "What's going on?"

Jack returned his stare blankly and turned to walk past him, answering, "None of your business." Morris' hand then grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

"She's my wife, so I'd say that it _is_ my business," Morris argued as Jack yanked his arm away and narrowed his glare, clenching his jaw to restrain himself.

"She's not your wife," Jack half-growled, again turning to leave and again being stopped, this time by Morris stepping in front of him.

"Would you mind telling me what this problem of yours is?" Morris asked, ignoring the small part of his brain telling him that this might not be the best idea he'd ever had.

"You really want to do this?" Jack warned, his patience all but gone as he felt his fists start to clench at his sides. "I promise you, you don't want to."

"Oh, I'm so scared," Morris rolled his eyes. "Please, Jack, this tough guy act of yours is getting incred-"

Suddenly Morris found himself being shoved against a wall, his defenses kicking in as he shoved back, and within seconds the two men were brawling for reasons they couldn't fully remember. Morris' fist lashed out, catching Jack next to his left eye. Before he could stop himself, Jack retaliated, his arm pulling back and slamming into the side of Morris' face full-force. The other man stumbled back and Jack pushed forward, grabbing his throat and pinning him against the wall, his hand slowly squeezing. In the absence of struggle, Jack's mind started to function again, and with a last shove he let go of Morris and stepped back. He stood for a moment and watched Morris cough, about a thousand different things he could say crossing his mind, but he said none of them. Instead he took a breath and walked away, his hands starting to shake as he realized what he'd just done - and, more importantly, why.

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Angrily he paced the floor of his office, cursing himself and his stupidity as he stopped near the striped wall that looked out over the floor. He stared blankly at the flurry of movements beneath, lost in his thoughts and barely noticing the sound of heels clicking up the staircase until his door had flown open and caught his attention. He turned his head to find Chloe standing in the doorway, her expression unclear. "Chloe..."

"I just got back from medical," she interrupted, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "The doctor just got done stitching up Morris' lip."

He looked away as she stared at him coldly, his voice quiet as he muttered, "I'm sorry, I...didn't mean for any of it to happen."

She sighed and took a few steps forward, crossing her arms as she continued to look into his averted eyes. "Jack, I'm not stupid. I know something's going on. I wish you'd tell me what it was so everything could stop being so weird."

His lips quirked sadly as he rubbed a palm over the back of his neck, slowly walking past her to the couch. She watched him sink down and sigh as he pressed his eyes shut with his fingertips, hesitating herself before moving to stand in front of him as he sat. She tightened her grip on her arms as she looked down at him, murmuring, "Jack, please. Just tell me."

His hands fell from his face as he slowly raised his eyes to hers, leaning back against the couch as he did. He took her in silently for a long moment, shaking his head slightly before he spoke. "I'm sorry, Chloe. I'm sorry for everything - making you feel uncomfortable, for Morris...it wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"'It'?" she squinted. "What does that mean?"

Again his eyes fell away, turning aimlessly around the room before finding hers again. "Just think about it, Chloe."

"That's all I've been doing is thinking about it, Jack, and I'm sick of it. I want to hear you say it." She paused, pursing her lips before adding, "It can't be that bad, so just spit it out."

Her concern grew as she watched him almost squirm, his gaze on his feet as he blinked repeatedly. "You..." he murmured, then stopping as if the rest of his words were just too much.

"...me what?" she pressed, growing more impatient with each passing second.

"You drive me crazy," he whispered, pausing nervously as soon as he spoke the words. He lifted his eyes to find hers full of confusion. He watched her mouth open as she tried to form words to respond with, though nothing came out. "Chloe," he called quietly.

"What?" she muttered, standing stiff as her face slowly reddened.

"I...I try to stop thinking about you, and I can't. I try not to sit here and watch you all day, but I can't."

By now her face felt like it was on fire, and her eyes were darting everywhere to avoid the intense blue ones staring into hers. Biting her lip, she bent her head and headed for the door, only to feel a hand quickly grab hers and bring her to a halt.

When she turned she found him standing just inches away from her, locking into her gaze and holding on to her hand tight. "Jack, please, don't do this if you don't mean it," she said weakly, trying to shrink away.

He let go of her hand and took her shoulders gently instead. "I do mean it."

"No you don't," she answered, trying to squirm out of his grip. He tightened his hold on her and pulled her against him, bringing his lips crashing down to hers before she could protest. She melted almost instantly into his kiss, still stiff in his grip but brought to a stunned halt by his insistent kiss. She returned the kiss hesitantly when he nudged her mouth open to deepen it, her mind barely registering that any of it was actually happening until he had shifted and fallen back on the couch, bringing her with him and on to his lap.

His one hand rested on one of her hips while the other buried itself in her hair as she seemingly came alive, taking either sides of his face in her hands as she matched his pace, kissing him deeper and longer until she abruptly broke away. "Jack," she panted, looking into his eyes for only a few seconds before he pulled her back to him and silenced her with another kiss.

"Jack, wait," she persisted, breaking away again, though reluctantly.

"What is it?" he asked, breathing heavily and brushing her hair behind her ears.

She paused. "This is what it was all about?"

He nodded, a small smile creeping on his lips. "All of it."

She paused again, narrowing her eyes. "You're an idiot." She smiled as he chuckled, adding, "You could have just _told _me instead of leaving monkeys on my desk and beating up my ex husband."

"But that wouldn't have been nearly as fun," he replied before she rolled her eyes and kissed him again. She shifted so her hips were pressed on his and moving slowly over them as they kissed, their pace quickening again fast and not letting up until they broke for air.

He moved to her neck and ran kisses along it as she stroked through his hair, shivering when his lips made their way to her ear. "You know," he said in a low growl between kisses, "you never answered me."

She pulled back slightly to look in his eyes, answering, "And I'm still not going to tell you." She paused and traced the curves of his lips with a fingertip before adding, "I'd rather show you."

"...Here?" he choked.

She watched his grin broaden at her next words. "Why not?"


End file.
